tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17458013724606976642024-02-20T20:39:43.934-08:00Dudes Discussing DatingColonel Paisleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10206139564726793839noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745801372460697664.post-79038838330905906042012-03-16T02:29:00.008-07:002012-03-16T02:56:46.427-07:00A Letter on Commitment<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:relyonvml/> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif][if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> 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mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >My good readers,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >Our first email has hit our inbox.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >Hey, guys!</span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >I have a dilemma, and I was hoping for your help. </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >I've been dating a number of different, wonderful men, but my pool of dates has been shrinking almost systematically. Some guys simply drifted out of the picture. Others I forced away. And even more I lost despite my best attempts to convince them to stay. </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >All in all, I'm a little lost, and I'm having trouble seeing this objectively. </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >Of the guys I pushed away, most of them said flat out that they wanted to date exclusively. One even said he was in love with me! But something was always missing. I found myself struggling to commit to any of these men. Maybe I just wasn't ready, because things did move quickly, or maybe we really weren't right for one another. At any rate, when they wanted to commit and I didn't, things naturally fell apart. </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >You know that compelling feeling you get when you know you want to be with someone? There's no doubt in your heart. It's an almost desperate need. But of the men I wanted to stay, none of them was willing to commit to me. I asked where we were going and was greeted with a figurative door in my face. Crap.</span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >What is my problem? What am I waiting for? Why is it that, of the men who wanted a relationship with me, I couldn't commit to a single one? But of the men I wanted, no one could commit to <span style="mso-bidi-font-style:italic">me</span>? I guess we love what we sacrifice for, and we reject what comes too easily. I'm not sure what to do. </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >I assume that there's nothing in particular about my behavior that is scaring these men away, because there <span style="mso-bidi-font-style:italic">were</span> those that were ready to commit. But I realize that when someone isn't ready, it's more likely that they really aren't ready to commit to you, specifically. </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >What do you, as men, look for in a potential mate? What makes it difficult to enter into an exclusive relationship? What makes it easy? How long does it normally take before you're sure that special someone is the someone you want to make your girlfriend? How would you recommend I approach a situation where I'm ready to commit, and the other party is not? I would love to meet the right person and make a commitment, but darn it all if that hasn't been working out!</span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >HELP.</span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >Much love,</span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >A girl</span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" >Dear A+ Girl,</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" >I must admit: when I first read your letter, I wondered if I was even qualified to answer it. I'm dealing with some of the same things and I often find myself pondering many of the very same questions that you have asked me. As you’ve probably gleaned, I’m a thinker. I spend a decent amount of time pondering circumstances, actions, and the motives and meanings behind them.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" >Dating, relationships, and commitment are tricky things. In my last post I compared dating to marketing, the idea being that you’re looking to appeal to your target market. Now I’m going to tell you how dating is NOT like marketing. When you go to a store and pick something out, the product doesn’t turn around and size you up as well. As an inanimate object, it could care less who you are or what you do with it. But when it comes to dating, the connection is a two-way street. This is what makes it difficult. In my time, I have been on dates with wonderful women. Some of those resulted in relationships. Others, well…didn’t. There was nothing wrong with them. Our personalities simply didn’t mesh. There was some sort of block there. Different styles of humor. Being at different points in our lives. That sort of thing.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" >You’re right when you say that we love what we sacrifice for and we reject what comes too easily. When we put ourselves into something, when we invest in a relationship, we feel that it should work out. After all, work brings reward, right? So, once we start investing, we keep investing and it can be hard to break that cycle. Sometimes we put so much extra effort into something that we miss out on other opportunities by not being there or by failing to see them for what they are.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;"><span style=";font-family:Calibri;" >When something comes to us easily, when we don’t have to put much effort into it, sometimes we don’t feel invested. Other times we’re too focused on the people we’ve invested in to give these other opportunities the attention they deserve. It could be because we enjoy the chase. Maybe it’s because we feel that, if things don’t work out, we can always call upon that which came so easily. Whatever the reason, it’s a shame that we sometimes reject these potentially good opportunities simply because we didn’t have to fight as hard for them.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" >The trick here is to realistically look at each opportunity for what it could be, setting aside any previous investment.<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latin;font-family:Calibri;" >What I look for in a potential mate is, in a nutshell, a person who I feel comfortable around and attracted to. A lot of things go into that. Shared religious beliefs are a must, as is a love of family and children. I’m a very family-oriented guy and I’m looking forward to being a father, so I’m looking for someone who is looking forward to being a mother. If a girl can make me smile, she has found an opening to my heart. I love to laugh and if I’m going to have someone around me for eternity, I want her to be able to make me laugh. Equally important to me is that I feel that I can talk with her about anything – that we can have conversations of all types and depths. And countless other things. I could talk your ears off about this. Perhaps one day I will. Ultimately, if I feel comfortable with this person and I feel that we would be a good influence upon each other, I’m willing to give it a try.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >When I have met one of these girls, it’s taken me anywhere from a day to a couple months before I was sure that I wanted to make that special someone my girlfriend. That doesn’t mean it has always happened, but still. Some people just click on you and you feel that connection almost instantly, while others sneak up on you as you slowly begin to realize that you want to take that next step. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >If you find yourself in a situation where the other person isn’t ready to commit and you are, step back and take a look at the situation. Why isn’t he ready to commit? Is it a matter of ill-meshing personalities or a failure to recognize an opportunity because it came too easily? Maybe it’s something else entirely. Maybe, like me, he's a bit of a shy fella. It’s okay to talk to him about it, but I don’t recommend pushing it.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-latinfont-family:Calibri;" >I hope that I’ve been able to shed some insight on your predicament. 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</w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif][if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]-->Featherstone McGeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07794909613985825965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745801372460697664.post-12773287445400700452012-02-24T21:33:00.003-08:002012-02-24T21:59:01.645-08:00Dating, Marketing...Tomato, Potato<!--[if gte mso 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mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} table.MsoTableGrid {mso-style-name:"Table Grid"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-priority:59; mso-style-unhide:no; border:solid windowtext 1.0pt; mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-border-insideh:.5pt solid windowtext; mso-border-insidev:.5pt solid windowtext; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Welcome to the Triple D! I am Featherstone McGee, one of two writers here. You likely know me from the <a href="http://byudates.blogspot.com/">Anti-Austen</a>. I was a guest writer there before they phased out their male authors. My most important pieces on the Anti-Austen were <a href="http://byudates.blogspot.com/2011/10/perfect-man.html">The Perfect Man</a> and <a href="http://byudates.blogspot.com/2011/12/post-where-featherstone-mcgee-gets.html">The Post Where Featherstone McGee Gets a Little Blasphemous</a>. In lieu of a long introduction, I will let my articles draw you a picture of who Featherstone McGee really is. What I write will tell you more about me than any blurb ever could, so let us begin!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There’s a tool we use quite often in marketing (I’m a marketing student) called a SWOT analysis. It involves analyzing two internal factors, Strengths and Weaknesses, and two external factors, Opportunities and Threats. It looks a little something like this:</p> <div align="center"> <table class="MsoTableGrid" style="width:220.75pt;border-collapse:collapse;border:none;mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt;mso-yfti-tbllook:1184;mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="294"> <tbody><tr style="mso-yfti-irow:0;mso-yfti-firstrow:yes;height:36.75pt"> <td style="border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center"> </p> <br /></td> <td style="border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-left:none; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Helpful</b></p> </td> <td style="border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-left:none; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Harmful</b></p> </td> </tr> <tr style="mso-yfti-irow:1;height:36.75pt"> <td style="border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-top:none; mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Internal</b></p> </td> <td style="border-top:none;border-left:none;border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">Strengths</p> </td> <td style="border-top:none;border-left:none;border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">Weaknesses</p> </td> </tr> <tr style="mso-yfti-irow:2;mso-yfti-lastrow:yes;height:36.75pt"> <td style="border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-top:none; mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">External</b></p> </td> <td style="border-top:none;border-left:none;border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">Opportunities</p> </td> <td style="border-top:none;border-left:none;border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">Threats</p> </td> </tr> </tbody></table> </div> <p class="MsoNormal"> As I was in my Place of Contemplation (the shower), I had an epiphany. I was pondering how important it is to truly know who you are when I suddenly realized that this marketing tool could prove quite useful in dating. You see, dating is essentially marketing yourself. Relationships are about meeting the needs of others through the unique attributes that you possess. In order to be successful, you need to know your own strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. Once you know where you stand, you can build your strengths, reduce your weaknesses, take advantage of your opportunities, and minimize your threats. Let me show you what I mean by showing you a shortened version of my own Dating SWOT Analysis.</p> <div align="center"> <table class="MsoTableGrid" style="width: 460px; border-collapse: collapse; border: medium none; height: 615px;" border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody><tr style="mso-yfti-irow:0;mso-yfti-firstrow:yes;height:14.35pt"> <td style="border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:14.35pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center"> </p> <br /></td> <td style="border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-left:none; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:14.35pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Helpful</b></p> </td> <td style="border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-left:none; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:14.35pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Harmful</b></p> </td> </tr> <tr style="mso-yfti-irow:1;height:36.75pt"> <td style="border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-top:none; mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Internal</b></p> </td> <td style="border-top:none;border-left:none;border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Funny</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Family oriented</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Romantic</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Sweet</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Dependable</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Faithful</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Worthy Priesthood Holder</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Nerdy (I consider this a strength)</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Good listener</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Hard worker</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Reasonably handsome</p> </td> <td style="border-top:none;border-left:none;border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Shy</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Often busy with school</p> </td> </tr> <tr style="mso-yfti-irow:2;mso-yfti-lastrow:yes;height:36.75pt"> <td style="border:solid windowtext 1.0pt;border-top:none; mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">External</b></p> </td> <td style="border-top:none;border-left:none;border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-The blog</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Work</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-FHE</p> </td> <td style="border-top:none;border-left:none;border-bottom:solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-right:solid windowtext 1.0pt;mso-border-top-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt:solid windowtext .5pt;mso-border-alt:solid windowtext .5pt; padding:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;height:36.75pt" valign="top"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-Competition</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt; text-align:center;line-height:normal" align="center">-The Friend Zone</p> </td> </tr> </tbody></table> </div> <p class="MsoNormal">Most likely, your SWOT will not look like mine. It will be as unique as you are. Just to be clear, here’s what goes in each box:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Strengths</b>: These are the good things about who you are. Give this section a lot of thought – you’re better than you think you are and once you have identified your strengths, you will know what to advertise most about yourself.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Weaknesses:</b> These are the things about yourself that you can, and should, improve. Everyone has them. I tend to be shy when first meeting new people.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Opportunities:</b> In the Dating SWOT, these are the methods or places you have a good chance of meeting people to date.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Threats:</b> These are the factors that you do not have control over that are not helpful to your dating life. For example, I often end up in the Friend Zone. If you’re the quintessential nice guy, you likely spend a lot of time there.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I hope that you find this to be useful. In dating, it’s important to know who you are and what you have to offer. My own dating life had been in the dumps (and my self-esteem along with it) until a few very special people helped me realize just how much I had to give. Once again, welcome to the Triple D – dating from the guy’s perspective. We’re still working out the details (design, posting schedule, etc.) so things may be unorganized for a bit. I really like to interact with the readers, so if you have any questions you’d like answered or topics you’d like to one of us to write about, email us at <a href="mailto:bropinion@gmail.com">bropinion@gmail.com</a>. Your anonymity is guaranteed.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">~Featherstone McGee</p>Featherstone McGeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07794909613985825965noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745801372460697664.post-32343603793416675022012-02-22T18:45:00.002-08:002012-02-27T00:40:27.170-08:00Mystery from the History: Best of Col Paisley #3<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Note: the original can be found <a href="http://byudates.blogspot.com/2011/11/take-it-slow-joe.html">here.</a> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Hello, my Provo dating friends!</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">This week's Paisley Post is brought to you by the letter G, in tribute to Art Garfunkel, who is awesome.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">When you think about it, dating is kind of like running.</span></div><div style="background-color: white;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><span style="font-size: small;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5671658902925053650" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgweOoV4JDH8i7Lt5uRUPu3U4Uwe2oGOFjn9fm_QpSSIdAoQ1zJs9df3VN0pVm3c6XNBZti4YTxA8BktfPFyO-5aNO4xH13WG7p2hWI4qwBZ9kkusaWDtlzhZPnXWU5pnoN4g8xyRp07OA/s320/cheesy-couple-running.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 275px;" /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: arial,sans-serif;">The above constitutes a "tender moment." Now excuse me, I am gagging.</span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I ran a 10K this summer, and the song I used to start off the playlist was Simon and Garfunkel's 59th Street Bridge Song. The beginning lyrics are "Slow down, you move too fast. You've got to make the moment last..."</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Those words serve me as a reminder to not go too fast at the beginning of the race and wear myself out. Chances are, I haven't prepared much for this race, and I've only stretched minimally before we begin. [It's a miracle I've yet to injure myself... knock on wood.]</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Whoa now, Colonel Paisley, I'm not gonna let you begin judgin' me! A lot of people think my relationship/engagement/</span><wbr></wbr><span style="font-size: small;">marriage moved too fast! You have no right to pass judgment!"</span></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Of course I don't. I'm not speaking to you tonight. You're part of the lucky 1% who are awesome at running and finish a 10K in 23 minutes. There are always people for whom things just "work out." They click, they find the people they are supposed to be with for eternity. Good for them. I'm glad the dating game suddenly got easy for them.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">But most of us? Not so much. It's hard being the 99%. [#occupydating anyone?] And tonight I'm not going to provide some hard-and-fast rule about dating speed, but merely some insights and guidance.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In my experience and in the experiences I've witnessed, overall it is beneficial to all parties if relationships move relatively slow.</span></div><div style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5671659148114415186" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgChqWPhxe3tCG5UFEbjYrHlIsa-xk-8kgyxmQoapZi6QybAjRbA8b6e1ABkla0QbcSMd8pOpiKq5GTbYTC5KAHbfPRjZdVKf1fi6td5WKSFsdTljdgsfIxmC9DCU_PlM-b7gP8QoNA3tw/s320/TortiseHare218.gif" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 185px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 218px;" /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial,sans-serif;">You never realized there was wisdom in that old Aesop's fable, didja?! </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial,sans-serif;">Good ol' childhood, it was actually useful! Weird.</span></span></div></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Slow and steady wins the race," Aesop instructed us. Try not to take things too fast. I've seen people rush into relationships that eventually fall apart and become awkward for everyone involved. One of my really good friends started dating a girl at the beginning of the semester, but it ended quickly. Now he finds it quite difficult to have a conversation with her or her roommates. </span></div><div style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It's never a bad thing to have time to get to know a person's emotional, intellectual, and spiritual sides before flying on into a physical relationship. If you are even mildly interested in finding your eternal companion at a certain point in life, what better way to truly know your compatibility with someone?</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">One of my friends, whom I consider to be somewhat of a little sister that I don't have, just started dating someone. It seems from the outside that their relationship started really quickly [within a week's span between first date and DTR]. However, they have known each other for at least a year, having developed a friendship at first that, hey cool, later blossomed into a relationship.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I myself started developing a relationship with a certain ladyfriend. We've spent plenty of time together in a variety of activities, but we are not officially dating. We haven't kissed. But things are going well, and I'm not desperately wanting to begin a physical relationship.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">...I find I'm not very organized, my friends. I feel like this post could be a lot more cohesive, clear, and coherent (+3). Instead I have a lot of random examples thrown together with semi-related segues and pictures.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5671659320014516258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs2IdQ5aidIbfy79fsd9lrFDhIFcEZRdmqFHYcUsxaifw-blqmTnufwKeTLJSFB3xG7Ct6-gn0IDIFA3OCE5glmT_w22E8KSQaCrIX8WMKQvCmSEVGGHKlbdpq6nBopSAQmbKeQizkq_Q/s320/NerdySegway.jpeg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; font-family: Georgia,serif; height: 203px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 93px;" /></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">Two for one prizes, friends! A picture OF a Segway!</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Lame puns [redundant?] aside, let me summarize:</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">You can be happy if things move quickly. Look at the Charming Directorship. They happened relatively fast, but they're happy with their chocolate milk lunches and chin tickling. Good for them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Look at my friend Constable Richelieu. He met a girl at a devotional, and they were engaged three weeks later. I'm really happy for them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">And on the flip side, we have people who have spent a long period of time getting to know their significant other.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">And how are all these people connected?</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>They are happy.</b></span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">That is what it's all about. Can we look at our paths that took us to where we are and say, "Yeah, Paul and Art, you're right, I AM feelin' groovy!"</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I basically want to say, don't feel pressure. Be happy with where you are in your life right now. If the winds of change tickle your ear and sweep you up with a person who ends up being the love of your life, <b>enjoy it! </b>If you invest a great deal of time in one person and you feel like the relationship is progressing, <b>savor it!</b> If you sacrifice incense and dead man's toes to the Brigham Young statue at a full moon and confess that you're okay with graduating college single, <b>relish it!</b></span> </div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">You're living your lives, people! Don't feel the need to rush into something, but don't take it as slow as possible either. Find that happy pace that you and your significant other are supposed to move at, and then "make the moment last."</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">And listen to Simon and Garfunkel. They make everything better.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Pip pip,</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Colonel Paisley</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">P.S. [I just realized that the correct lyrics are "make the <i>morning</i> last," but I don't really care.]</span></div></div>Colonel Paisleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10206139564726793839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745801372460697664.post-85656924767959135452012-02-22T18:33:00.000-08:002012-02-26T18:35:42.001-08:00Blast from the Past: Best of Featherstone McGee #2<h3 class="post-title entry-title">Note: the original can be found <a href="http://byudates.blogspot.com/2011/12/post-where-featherstone-mcgee-gets.html">here</a>.<br /></h3><h3 class="post-title entry-title">The post where Featherstone McGee gets a little bit blasphemous... </h3> <div class="post-header"> </div> <p class="MsoNormal">Dear Readers, </p><p class="MsoNormal">God is a sneaky, sneaky fellow. Now, before you assemble a lynch mob and have me tried for blasphemy, let me say that I make that statement with the utmost respect. Let me also say that I have a habit of using the word <i>sneaky</i> for a variety of things. In this case the meaning I wish to convey is <i>clever</i>. After all, God works in mysterious ways.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now, at this point I’m guessing that some of you are saying to yourselves <i>Featherstone, what in the world does this have to do with dating?</i> Well, let me tell you.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">By now you’ve probably learned that dating at BYU (and within the Mormon culture) is different. It’s unique. I’m guessing that many of you grew up in the same dating culture that I did, or at the very least one that was quite similar. Dates as we know them did not exist or were very rare. The common practice was as follows:</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in; ">1.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span>We start off with a large group of friends who hang out together quite frequently. Within this group there are many individuals. One is named Jack. Another is named Jill.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in; ">2.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span>After getting to know everybody, Jack and Jill begin to realize that they have a slightly elevated interest in one another relative to their interest in the other members of the group. This begins the strange phenomenon known as <i>feelings</i>.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in; ">3.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span>Upon contemplation of this interest Jack and Jill begin to spend more time together and <i>feelings</i> develop further.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in; ">4.<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span>Jack and Jill begin <i>dating</i> (which in this context is defined as <i>the act of being in a romantic relationship</i>) despite having only gone on few, if any, <i>dates</i>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Does this sound familiar to you? A friend of mine from work grew up in the same dating environment in a completely different state. So I know I’m not the only one. There are at least two of us.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now here we are at BYU. The dating scene is quite different. <i>Dates</i> are still dates, but <i>dating</i> has taken on two meanings, specifically 1) the act of going on several dates and 2) the act of being in a romantic relationship. Dates and the first meaning of dating play a significantly more important role in the overall process as the dating pool expands to, well, pretty much anybody without a ring on their finger. More options, more possibilities, with people you DON’T EVEN KNOW! It’s enough to make your head spin.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now, if you’ve ever baked a marble and thrown it in ice cold water, you would know that such a drastic change can be enough to make the insides crack. Indeed, the pressures of dating can be difficult and can indeed cause us to crack. I’m sure that, at one point or another, most of you out there have felt the pressures weigh on you in the form of doubt, despair, hopelessness, sadness, frustration, or some other sad, negative emotion that can come as the result of an unsuccessful dating life. I know that I have. Such was the state I was in when I first discovered this blog.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now let us shift gears as I begin to relate everything I have said back to the first paragraph (just in case you were wondering when/if that would even happen). I hate cats (no judging). Yet it was a video of a woman blubbering on about cats that brought me to the Anti-Austen. Why did I click the link found on Overheard @ BYU? I don’t know. I just did. Many of the actions that I have performed at the subtle inspiration of the Spirit have been things I have just done that I normally wouldn’t do. Before I knew it, I was writing on the Anti-Austen. A broken boy with too little experience and too much insight writing on a dating blog. Seriously?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As you likely know, a challenge was issued by the Charmer, a contest was held, and a date was procured. The Charmer has admitted in a previous post that her November challenge was indeed inspired. The rest of the details of this story are very personal to me – I hold them very dear to my heart and they are mine to keep. I will tell you that this broken boy is healing quite nicely.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now, if you’ve ever baked a marble and thrown it in ice cold water, you would know that such a drastic change can be enough to make the insides crack. If you’ve ever seen one of these cracked marbles, you would also know that the cracks inside add a unique character to each and every one of them. Thus, each one is special. God is a sneaky, sneaky fellow. The challenges in our lives shape who we are as individuals and the solutions that help us overcome them are often not what we expect. Never would I have guessed that I could find what I have been searching for through a dating blog.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">My dear readers, this message is for those of you who currently face challenges in dating. This message is for those of you whose hopes are dashed. This message is for those of you who find yourselves in need of brighter days. There is indeed hope out there and it will likely come in ways that you don’t expect, even in ways that you have yet to consider. Brighter days are in your future, so keep careful watch for them. I urge you to keep your eyes, your mind, and your heart open, because God may introduce them to you in the cleverest of ways – after all, He is a sneaky, sneaky fellow.</p> ~Featherstone McGeeFeatherstone McGeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07794909613985825965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745801372460697664.post-10059459570880620572012-02-22T18:32:00.001-08:002012-02-27T00:34:57.350-08:00Mystery from the History: Best of Col Paisley #2<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Note: the original can be found <a href="http://byudates.blogspot.com/2011/11/well-i-think-you-need-to-be-more.html">here.</a> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"><br />
"Well I Think You Need To Be More... Flexible" </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Hey folks,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">In an attempt to be more relatable and be less of a mysterious advice-bearing dapper man [because who can reject paisley?], I’m going to mix in my dating stories/situations with my advice that I wanted to share with y’all last week.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Part of the reason that the Dating Game in Provo is so hard is because everyone takes it too seriously.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Try not to care or worry too much. Be spontaneous. Be open to unstructured plans.<br />
<br />
Let me introduce you to <b>Fraulein. </b>She’s a girl I met through work back in February, and she remembered me when she reappeared at work on Friday. We chatted again, and when she came back again on Saturday, we discussed our evenings – neither of us had plans. I picked her up later for a nonchalant dessert date. Conversation flowed well, and I would definitely ask her on a second date if she hadn’t already graduated and lived out of state.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Lesson one: </span></i><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">If a guy asks you on a random date on the day of, don’t refuse him simply on principle. [If he’s a complete creeper, however, you may refuse.] Individual situations always change; maybe he only just worked up the courage to ask you out. If you don’t have official plans, humor another human and humble yourself. You may be surprised by a spur-of-the-moment date.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Another lady friend, <b>Matilda Jeffries</b>, is in my ward. We spend a fair amount of time together through a variety of apartment/ward activities, and I’ve always thought she was attractive. Our personalities are similar, and we’ve even had a fun-filled 6+ hour one-on-one adventure. However, her roommate has told me that she’s not interested, and I therefore became less interested in the relationship.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Lesson two: </span></i><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Don’t be afraid to sacrifice a potential relationship for a lasting friendship. I’ve been friendzone’d by countless females, but I am happy about many of those situations. I feel like I’m better friends with a lot of these girls simply because we didn’t think it would work out if we dated.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">I’ve lately noticed Matilda spending some time with another guy in the ward who is much more handsome and studly than I. A younger, less experienced version and I would mope and whine about how I “never get the girl.” I would ask useless, hypothetical questions like “why wouldn’t she pick me, then? What does he have that I don’t?”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Lesson three: </span></i><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Questions like those help no one. They reemphasize my lack of self-esteem and encourage my to find things wrong with myself. Or I could simply walk away from the situation with a casual “Good for her. I’m happy for her.” Because frankly, the dating game is hard, and I would be a sick and twisted person if I wished upon anyone to stay in the dating pool forever and never leave. Also, Matilda has never dated anyone before, so she could use the experience. The less selfish and greedy I am, the happier I am with my dating situation.<br />
<br />
The last girl that deserves mention tonight is <b>Miss Sora. </b>We met through our on-campus jobs and became friends who went on lots of dates, hung out a lot, cuddled, and held hands. We have very similar interests, personalities, and humor styles. We never kissed or officially “dated”; we took our time with the relationship, and I was happy with that. After one week of minimal communication, however, we talked about the situation. She told me that her feelings for me hadn’t developed in the way she was hoping over the past three or four weeks. I expressed similar feelings, and we “parted the closest of friends” [thanks, Billy Joel]. We are still friends, and we are both very happy that we communicated our feelings clearly and openly, thereby avoiding all potential awkwardness.<br />
<br />
Lesson four: Communicate. Don’t be reluctant to share your feelings and be emotionally involved in a relationship. Note: “emotionally involved” and “emotionally invested” are different. Don’t completely validate your existence by whether or not a relationship works. Don’t weep bitter tears into your pillow because he decided he wasn’t interested, or if she doesn’t want to date anyone right now [she actually just doesn’t want to date you… but that’s not the point]. So engage in some emotional interaction, but be mentally and emotionally prepared for all outcomes. Allow yourself room to be disappointed – that same space can potentially also bring you great happiness.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">In summary, think of the scene from the Incredibles that uses the title to this post. After Elastigirl says that, Mr. Incredible stammers out a “Are you doing anything tonight?” And that, my friends, is my invitation to you. Be flexible – in four ways:</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">1.<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Be spontaneous. Invite someone on a spur-of-the-moment date.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">2.<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Be able to change your course if you know your train won’t be received at the destination. Decide that you don’t need roads where you’re going, and point your train to the sky.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">3.<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Don’t get in a rut. Be able to change and be changed. More importantly, accept changes.</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">4.<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Don’t get your expectations up. Unless you expect every single outcome and will be happy with whatever happens.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';">Good luck with your dating lives, my friends. Dating is like our fair Brigham Young University – it is not without challenges, but we have the option every semester to sign up for STAC 125 – Flexibility. I still think that would be a fun class to take. </span><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon'; font-size: 8pt;">[Who wants to take it with me next semester?]</span><span style="font-family: 'Big Caslon';"><br />
Cheers,<br />
<br />
Colonel Paisley</span></div>Colonel Paisleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10206139564726793839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745801372460697664.post-15736993345418227942012-02-22T18:30:00.000-08:002012-02-26T18:33:55.206-08:00Blast from the Past: Best of Featherstone McGee #1<h3 class="post-title entry-title">Note: The original can be found <a href="http://byudates.blogspot.com/2011/10/perfect-man.html">here</a>.<br /></h3><h3 class="post-title entry-title">The perfect man? </h3> <div class="post-header"> </div> <p class="MsoNormal">Hello readers, I am Featherstone McGee (clearly my parents were hippies). When I was asked to write a guest post for the Anti-Austen, I was in the middle of cleaning my gun while eating a steak I had prepared after returning from a trip to the range (where I did quite well, I might add). I’ll skip any real introduction as the lesson that follows will (hopefully) give you a sense of who I am.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Last Sunday was stake conference and my stake was graced by the presence of Elder M. Russell Ballard himself. If you’ve lived in Provo for more than thirty seconds, you know the equation: (Apostle+Conference)*BYU=Dating. Needless to say, I hung on every word, carefully listening for anything that might give me an edge over my future competition. Funny that the line that really got me thinking was one addressed to the sisters:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:center" align="center"><i>“Sisters, stop looking for the perfect man. There isn’t one here.”</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The rusty wheels in my head slowly started turning. <i>We can’t be perfect men, but we can sure be dang good men. So what makes a man a good man?</i> We all have our own views on this subject, shaped by our own experiences. That line from Elder Ballard started to remind me of the lessons I had learned over the past few years. Here are the ones I feel are most important, in no particular order.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>A man treats a woman with respect. </b>“The true measure of a man can be found in his relationship with women.” I regret to say that I don’t remember the name of the General Authority who said this. But I try to live my life by this quote. Tall or short, ripped or scrawny, magnificently bearded or physically unable to grow more than three tiny whiskers, if you do not treat a woman as a daughter of God, you are no man. This is the most important lesson that I can impart.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>A man makes a woman feel safe.</b> One thing that many women look for in a man is that they can feel safe when they are with him (source: many women). In most cases, it doesn’t matter how you do this. Some men have big muscles (this is not Featherstone McGee). Some have a “do not start trouble here” sort of presence. Others have studied martial arts. Others choose to carry a gun for personal protection. And then there are the bravest men of all who, no matter their size or proficiency in fighting, will place themselves in harm’s way before ever letting anything happen to the women he cares about, whether she be his mother, his sister, his friend, or his significant other.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>A man knows when to listen and when to act. </b>This lesson took me a long time to learn. Men by their nature are doers. We take action. Problem <span style="font-family:Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings"><span>à</span></span> Solution <span style="font-family:Wingdings;mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Wingdings"><span>à</span></span>Action. But guys, get this: sometimes a woman just wants you to listen, to comfort her, to validate her feelings rather than only half-listening while forming a plot to avenge the wrong that has taken place.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>A man knows that it’s okay to have feelings.</b> <i>"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?"</i> ~William Shakespeare</p> <p class="MsoNormal">A man is still human (werewolves, vampires excluded) and understands that it’s okay to have feelings. We all feel love and hate, hope and despair, strength and weakness, courage and fear.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>A man does not post dresses on a Pinterest instead of courting wonderful and exciting women.</b> In light of recent events (and because every now and then we need a good dose of humor) I felt like mentioning this one. I would like to take this opportunity to note that Featherstone McGee does not have a Pinterest account. You could say that this lesson is about priorities. A good man has his in the right order.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>A man is faithful to his Priesthood.</b> This, I feel, is an important one in our LDS culture. LDS women generally want a man who honors his Priesthood. So guys, do your home teaching. Read your scriptures. Pray. Always be worthy to give a blessing – you never know when you’ll be called upon to give one. The blessing of a worthy Priesthood holder leading your household is a wonderful thing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>A man has a good work ethic. </b>Men are most often the providers in the family dynamic. As such, a man needs to have a good work ethic. Always put your best effort into the work that you do. Don’t be a workaholic though! Anything ending in “aholic” is usually bad. Remember balance: <i>Work hard, play hard.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>A man has a sense of humor. </b>Enjoy life! Have fun! Make a girl laugh. Make her smile. Your looks will fade with time, but a good sense of humor will survive through eternity. When I was younger, I would go out with my Priest Quorum advisor to visit the elderly couples who couldn’t attend Church on Sundays to bring them the Sacrament. I’ll never forget the wise advice of one man in his mid-90’s. “Don’t get old, son. You can’t control when you poop.” Yes. Over 90 years old and still making poop jokes? He was <span>definitely a man.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>Now I leave you with the immortal words of African American poet Skee-Lo:</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i><span>“I wish I was little bit taller,<br />I wish I was a baller<br />I wish I had a girl who looked good<br />I would call her<br />I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat<br />and a '64 Impala”</span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><i><span> </span></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span>You can’t honestly tell me that it wouldn’t be awesome to have a rabbit in a hat.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>~Featherstone McGee</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>P.S. Fun facts about Featherstone McGee!</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>1. I have never read a Jane Austen novel.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span>2. I don’t date as often as I’d like to, thanks to work and school.</span></p> <span>3. I would rather die than wear tight pants.</span>Featherstone McGeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07794909613985825965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1745801372460697664.post-75399601125744686622012-02-22T18:25:00.002-08:002012-02-27T00:35:22.930-08:00Mystery from the History: Best of Col Paisley #1<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-size: small;">Note: The original can be found <a href="http://byudates.blogspot.com/2011/09/colonel-paisleys-rendition-of-friend.html">here.</a></span> </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Navigating the Friend Zone</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Hello, fellow blog-stalkers!</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">I’m going to skip a lengthy introduction and merely state that I am a guest contributor, this time one with a Y chromosome! Gasp. You may call me Colonel Paisley. It’s a blend of two psuedonyms that I entertained: Colonel Fitzwilliam and The Paisley Tie. I find both of these symbolize me pretty well, so I put them in the blender and downed an overpriced Jamba Juice.</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: left;">Anyway, The Coquette asked me to write a guest post, and I must say that I am delighted to do so. As I pondered about what to write [that sounds like I’m speaking at general conference…] a friend’s Facebook post tickled my fancy:</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><b>Listening, Advice, Praise, Diversion, Comfort, Challenge, Companionship, or Affirmation. What kind of friend are you?</b></div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It’s funny how well that applies to dating. Mostly I wanted to muse on how to navigate the Friend Zone.</div><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5655458591706891698" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK8qUkoVYAFqOO1UMT4E3Uz0DDOieixQhzZlcUrkH_5QlivQO3CSnNj8BdqB6EiSoukFzZls2Gyj7USEvQiZBzOMcDw74pzMgp8NwNJI7JkOy87qMyHF_C4iRHL0Ok4Po2lj9C6qEuPhc/s400/friendzonepirate.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 85%;">There are so many things I could say about this picture. <b>A:</b> I sail on Inception-esque scenery? Ok. <b>2:</b> I’m pretty sure this took more time to draw than this post took to write. Forgive my slow trackpad-drawing speed. <b>D:</b> The friend zone has really weird-looking buoys. [HA. Get it? Because this is a dating blog, and “buoys” sounds like… Never mind.]</span></div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">I’m sorry. My train of thought can often be a runaway.</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So, “What kind of friend are you?” Everyone falls into at least one category; we all need to identify the trait that embodies us most and then capitalize on it. It’s kind of like the Five Love Languages, except in a more person-to-person and everyday form.</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Anyway: The Friend Zone. We hate it. It ruins our plans. It makes us feel awkward. And yet, it’s so necessary. I know a few relationships that jet ski right on through the Friend Zone, and they can sometimes be awkward. I once dated someone, and we swam in the Waters of Acquaintance…ship, got caught in the Bermuda Triangle of Infatuation and suddenly found ourselves in the Relationship Reef. It was pretty cool, but then we ended up on the beach. And now I’m swimming in the Waters again.</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">The Friend Zone is actually where you want to be. Not with every specific person you are attracted to, per se, but with people in general. [Perhaps this is a bit too much of my normal character here; I value being friends with everyone. I find it worthwhile.]</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">It’s in the Friend Zone where I don’t feel awkward walking over to some girls’ apartment and just talking with them without them thinking, “Ugh, why is this creepo hanging out here? He’s not gonna ask me on a date, is he? Jimmer help me.”</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Two of my lady friends needed a ride to the mall this evening; I obliged. They felt comfortable enough with me to ask; I feel comfortable putting aside my own activities to help. I later accompanied one of their roommates on an evening run. I’d chalk those under the Companionship and Diversion Friend Languages.</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Don’t get me wrong – definitely do not stay in the Friend Zone forever. Test the waters. Move your way towards the warmer waters; maybe you’ll eventually find the Hot Tub of Love. In my experience, it’s much easier to establish a stable, lasting relationship with a member of the opposite sex after I’ve built a solid foundation of friendship based on my and my interest’s Friend Languages [I should copyright that].</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Recent contributions to this blog have pointed out that the dating game can be very frustrating and depressing. It’s hard, of course, but it has to be. [At least, in Provo, it does.] Just remember – the Waters of Acquaintancehoodship and the Friend Zone seem pretty vast and fruitless, but you’ll find yourself in warm waters eventually. <b>The world’s not as big and hopeless as you think – it’s not the Dating Ocean, but the Dating Pool.</b></div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">[I just blew your mind. I didn’t even do it on purpose; it just worked like that.]</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">So think about your Friend Languages, and get out there and swim! There’s treasure everywhere!</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Cheers,</div><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">Colonel Paisley</div>Colonel Paisleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10206139564726793839noreply@blogger.com0