Note: the original can be found here.
The post where Featherstone McGee gets a little bit blasphemous...
Dear Readers,
God is a sneaky, sneaky fellow. Now, before you assemble a lynch mob and have me tried for blasphemy, let me say that I make that statement with the utmost respect. Let me also say that I have a habit of using the word sneaky for a variety of things. In this case the meaning I wish to convey is clever. After all, God works in mysterious ways.
Now, at this point I’m guessing that some of you are saying to yourselves Featherstone, what in the world does this have to do with dating? Well, let me tell you.
By now you’ve probably learned that dating at BYU (and within the Mormon culture) is different. It’s unique. I’m guessing that many of you grew up in the same dating culture that I did, or at the very least one that was quite similar. Dates as we know them did not exist or were very rare. The common practice was as follows:
1. We start off with a large group of friends who hang out together quite frequently. Within this group there are many individuals. One is named Jack. Another is named Jill.
2. After getting to know everybody, Jack and Jill begin to realize that they have a slightly elevated interest in one another relative to their interest in the other members of the group. This begins the strange phenomenon known as feelings.
3. Upon contemplation of this interest Jack and Jill begin to spend more time together and feelings develop further.
4. Jack and Jill begin dating (which in this context is defined as the act of being in a romantic relationship) despite having only gone on few, if any, dates.
Does this sound familiar to you? A friend of mine from work grew up in the same dating environment in a completely different state. So I know I’m not the only one. There are at least two of us.
Now here we are at BYU. The dating scene is quite different. Dates are still dates, but dating has taken on two meanings, specifically 1) the act of going on several dates and 2) the act of being in a romantic relationship. Dates and the first meaning of dating play a significantly more important role in the overall process as the dating pool expands to, well, pretty much anybody without a ring on their finger. More options, more possibilities, with people you DON’T EVEN KNOW! It’s enough to make your head spin.
Now, if you’ve ever baked a marble and thrown it in ice cold water, you would know that such a drastic change can be enough to make the insides crack. Indeed, the pressures of dating can be difficult and can indeed cause us to crack. I’m sure that, at one point or another, most of you out there have felt the pressures weigh on you in the form of doubt, despair, hopelessness, sadness, frustration, or some other sad, negative emotion that can come as the result of an unsuccessful dating life. I know that I have. Such was the state I was in when I first discovered this blog.
Now let us shift gears as I begin to relate everything I have said back to the first paragraph (just in case you were wondering when/if that would even happen). I hate cats (no judging). Yet it was a video of a woman blubbering on about cats that brought me to the Anti-Austen. Why did I click the link found on Overheard @ BYU? I don’t know. I just did. Many of the actions that I have performed at the subtle inspiration of the Spirit have been things I have just done that I normally wouldn’t do. Before I knew it, I was writing on the Anti-Austen. A broken boy with too little experience and too much insight writing on a dating blog. Seriously?
As you likely know, a challenge was issued by the Charmer, a contest was held, and a date was procured. The Charmer has admitted in a previous post that her November challenge was indeed inspired. The rest of the details of this story are very personal to me – I hold them very dear to my heart and they are mine to keep. I will tell you that this broken boy is healing quite nicely.
Now, if you’ve ever baked a marble and thrown it in ice cold water, you would know that such a drastic change can be enough to make the insides crack. If you’ve ever seen one of these cracked marbles, you would also know that the cracks inside add a unique character to each and every one of them. Thus, each one is special. God is a sneaky, sneaky fellow. The challenges in our lives shape who we are as individuals and the solutions that help us overcome them are often not what we expect. Never would I have guessed that I could find what I have been searching for through a dating blog.
My dear readers, this message is for those of you who currently face challenges in dating. This message is for those of you whose hopes are dashed. This message is for those of you who find yourselves in need of brighter days. There is indeed hope out there and it will likely come in ways that you don’t expect, even in ways that you have yet to consider. Brighter days are in your future, so keep careful watch for them. I urge you to keep your eyes, your mind, and your heart open, because God may introduce them to you in the cleverest of ways – after all, He is a sneaky, sneaky fellow.
~Featherstone McGee
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